There’s a saying among SSA groups that goes something similar to, “We strive for holiness and not heterosexuality.” And I think that’s an excellent biblical perspective. But I’m just curious how many actually believe that and live it out.
I think that we can reword the saying and make it a little more personal. How about, “I desire holiness more than I desire heterosexuality.” When it is phrased like this, I think it will reveal more about our hearts. One thing I have noticed is that those who struggle with SSA and are less spiritually mature, tend to be more concerned with the heterosexuality part, rather than the holiness. I do not at all think this is isolated to SSA strugglers, but that all Christians who are not as mature. Part of growing up is learning what’s really important. But if I ask you “Do you desire holiness more than heterosexuality?” your answer to that question will reveal much about your heart – and who you are worshipping.
See, if I ask you “Why do you want to be heterosexual” and your answers are something like, “I don’t want to be alone, I want to be married” or “I want to be normal” or “I want to have a family.” Then I would venture to say those are all pretty self-centered reasons. But if I ask you, “Why do you want to be holy,” well it’s not impossible, but it would be more difficult to have self-centered reasons. I hope your answer would be, “Because God is glorified by me living an obedient life to him.”
I am not saying that there is anything wrong with the desire to be heterosexual, to be married, or to be free from SSA. I think those are all good desires. The problem is when those desires supersede your desire to be holy, to be obedient to God in whatever circumstance or life situation you may be in. The reason is that if your desire to be heterosexual is greater than your desire to be holy, then I think there’s a decent chance your desire to please yourself is greater than your desire to please God. And that in your heart, maybe without realizing it, you have set up idols and are worshipping yourself.
So with this in mind, I want to encourage you to look to the cross, to preach the gospel to yourself every day. To savor the beauty of the grace that God has poured out on you. And every day I hope you find the gospel sweeter and more satisfying so that your one desire, your one zealous passion, will be to glorify God and make much of Him.